I felt good. Then I felt bad. Then it didn’t matter anymore.

TRUTH BE TOLD, I don’t exactly know what my “format” for this blog will be yet. I hope to give you an honest look at what my life is like, what running has done and continues to do for me, and also provide relevant information such as training tips, recipes, etc. I’ll be real, though, some of this might be more therapeutic for me to write than it is riveting for you to read. That being said, if you ever have any questions or suggestions for topics, click Contact Me and send me a message!


I’m writing this as I shove oatmeal into my face and down some coffee before heading outside (FINALLY) for a 17 miler. As long as I don’t implode in the next two hours, this long run will cap off the highest mileage week of my life and first time running 90 (only a few miles over my biggest week ever, but I’ll take any victory I can get!)
*Update: I did make it through, despite the snow dump that is Fargo rn.

One thing I’ve learned in running (and am continually learning to manage) is that there are ebbs and flows in each block of training. You can’t have 100% great days. No amount of icing, stretching, foam rolling, fueling, and recovery can guarantee success. It just doesn’t work that way. This week was no different.

Monday/Tuesday: Recovery running, feeling pretty good post-race.

Wednesday: 24×200. Executed this workout the best I’ve ever done it.

Thursday: Felt like dying on both easy runs.

Friday: #feelgoodfriday in the bag!

Saturday: Big workout. Thought my life was ending. To anyone at the Wellness Center running next to me, I’m sorry if I weirded you out and I swear I didn’t have a breakdown. When treadmill workouts get rough, I start repeating “5-4-3-2-1” in my head until the rep is done. It helps me focus on my breathing and distracts me from the pain. Unfortunately these reps were miles long, I got to this point very early on, and I was absolutely breathlessly counting out loud.

Fortunately, I was forced to brush off a bad workout fast because I went straight to the Summit League Championships to watch the Bison Women and Men both nab the team titles!


One of my favorite moments (among many) of the weekend was watching Alex Bartholomay anchor the Men’s DMR on Friday. One week ago, I was in a coffee shop in Albuquerque waiting to go shakeout at the track. I was checking results for a meet at UND where some of the Bison athletes were competing, and I almost fell off my stool when I hit refresh and saw Alex PRd in the mile by NINE SECONDS. He literally ran his way not only onto the Conference Team, but onto the ROSTER. Watching Alex kick down a guy in the last lap to help NDSU win in his first collegiate track race wearing the Bison jersey AND run another PR in his split was pretty incredible (yes, that run-on sentence was necessary). Best running quote I’ve ever heard in my life? Andrew (Coach Carlson) asked Alex how he felt.

MIND BLOWN. In one post-race thought Alex perfectly epitomized running, and I don’t think I’ll ever forget it.

I put a lot of stock into each day because I know there’s importance and purpose in all of the training, but I’m learning to let go of “this one day means everything.” If you had asked me immediately how I felt after the workout, I would’ve said, “I felt bad. Then I felt worse. And it mattered too much.” Good thing I have Alex’s wisdom to put me in my place! Sure, I wish I could crush every session. But it’s a day. I’ve had a lot of good ones. I’ll have a lot of bad ones. I’m healthy, I’m training hard for something I love, and I can’t wait to race on the roads again in two weeks. New week, come at me!

#bealion #ferdaBison

3 thoughts on “I felt good. Then I felt bad. Then it didn’t matter anymore.”

  1. Your thoughts on running are so relevant to just plain life, Mad. Uncannily applicable to mine today, I must say. Thank you for writing, daughter.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Your thoughts on running sound a lot like young motherhood : no amount of fruit snacks, naps, and cartoons can guarantee success… You’re about to implode or have a meltdown at a moments notice and sometimes I allow the days events to dictate how I feel as a mother and I need to remember “It’s a day- there’ll be lots of good ones and bad ones” and sometimes on the bad ones – I feel like running…. far, FAR away! Lol

    Liked by 1 person

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